Drags Me Back was the name I gave to the crocodile-like experiences that came to pull me under after I repeatedly confronted emotional abuse without evoking much interest.
The most frequent response: “Just ignore it.” Disregarding narcissism, bullying and public shaming normalizes cold-blooded environments and encourages co-dependence.
Running away is vastly different from moving forward. The first is an escape from a developmental opportunity. Soon we discover that nothing changed, because self came along with us. The second is moving toward abundance. In order to receive, we have to let go of that which hinders our truest Self.
Enlightened Crocodile drags us under to free, not drown us. It is natural to confuse going through traumatic events with transformation, though they are not necessarily related. Merely enduring hardships with a reptilian mentality does not expand us in transpersonal ways. However, allowing ourselves to be done unto, by Love, does.
The enemy may be outer, inner or both.
At first, we strive to slay an enemy. In time, we find ourselves curiously observing our adversaries. Oddly, as we embrace our own humanness, something divine takes over.
We no longer have quite the energetic need to either lord over or cave in by giving our power away. We simply stand strong.
Periodically withdrawing with Crocodile, keeps us from overly investing ourselves in outer distractions. In the stillness we commit to resisting our temptations to vilify people who could have done something or to obsessively defend ourselves. Instead we respond from the Sacred within, attacking the problem, rather than a person.
When Crocodile shows up, we have four choices:
Flee the scene
Paralyze ourselves in analysis
Wrestle the reptile (outer or inner)
Face what is
While waiting for an opportune time, Crocodile observes, keeping most of herself hidden under water. We, too, would do well to pull back, giving Spirit time to brood over us and our circumstances. Soul care offers a gift that all the activity in the world cannot.
Why not take a few deep breaths and let Crocodile introduce you to your best Self?