Prayer-Filled Opening

On the night that Spirit shushed me, I quietly looked out at my prayers. There they were in the dark night sky, hanging as if they were in some sort of enormous dream catcher. Were they stuck or just dangling to remind me? Or perhaps they were invitations to a prayer-filled opening.

I looked closer, while feeling that I needed to close my eyes, for I could sense Spirit’s gaze on me. It was like a moment of discernment, when everything on the outside says, “draw closer, look, examine and analyze”, but deep within, the undertone gently whispers, “step away, close your eyes and quiet your mind; then, you will Know”.

I was intent on watching the progress of my prayers, but the loving gaze of God was distracting me. My relationship with Sky, the infinite space and all of Spirit’s many expressions therein, was deepening. Sky had become more than a beautiful expanse to enjoy. This expressive drape was my sanctuary, a communing place with God and at times, seemed to be the very gaze of God.

It was under Sky that I had prayed with words up through dawn’s fiery colors, and across the brightness of midday. It was under the roof of stormy clouds where I had religiously soaked my requests and beneath the dark and starry night skies where I had danced joyful praises and cried prayer-filled tears. Sky had become personal to me.

But on that night, it was as if Spirit reached down from Sky, put her fingers over my lips and breathed, shhh. I had prayed until there were no more words. What did I really know about anyone or anything, anyway? It was then that the Sacred within, introduced me to a trust-filled breathing prayer.

I was overcome with Spirit’s invitation to hold the space with deep breaths while simply trusting. On that night, I knew that the Living Holy was working for good in all people and things for which I had prayerfully held, and also, wooing me, back to Love, through what I had selfishly prayed.

So, there I was in the almond shaped prayer-filled opening, where my opposites connected. My eyes were open, seeing the brokenness of reality and closed as I enjoyed God’s loving gaze.

As I held my eyes in both positions, seeing beyond quietly glowed and a deeper Knowing emerged. I breathed and I knew that I was inhaling Life that would sustain me. I felt nothing but Presence and for those moments, trusting was enough, so I stepped out, living into my prayers.

Sacred Ruminations*