Shedding insecurities is not easy. Perhaps you’ve identified with them for so long, it is difficult to imagine living with a light heart and a worry-free mind.
Think about all the things that cause you to feel defenseless. More than likely they all boil down to one word, shame. Living with shame is choosing a scarcity mentality – you are not good enough, safe enough, smart enough, do not have enough, etc., It can be the result of one’s upbringing, culture or a trauma.
“Shame is the intensely painful feeling…that we are flawed…unworthy of love and belonging. Shame is something everyone has and no one wants to talk about. Shame needs three things to grow exponentially…secrecy, silence and judgment.” Brene Brown
Brene goes on to say that when we talk about our shame to a trusted other, it cannot survive. Admitting that you live in a scarcity mentality takes courage, but imagine the relief of having someone who will hold your imperfections with compassion, and also the honor you bestow on them.
So, why do we refuse to open up? Fear? Losing status? Betrayal?
Some of our deepest wounds are the result of sharing personal shortcomings, only to be betrayed. As devastating as that can be, know that those disclosures are the result of the other person’s insecurities and not your choice to connect with them.
When people need to belittle you in order to bolster themselves, they have not worked through their own issues.
“If you’re brave, you’re going to get hurt. The brokenhearted are the bravest among us, because they had the courage to love.” Brene Brown
To recognize personal shortcomings and then share them with another, binds you together on a deeper level. Often our greatest gifts are found somewhere in our shadows. Sometimes another person can see that, when we cannot.
Could the way you perceive your life be keeping you from experiencing abundance? What if you simply need to change the limiting story that is hindering you? Shedding insecurities awakens us to life-giving possibilities and rids us of crippling shame.
Making Spirit Flesh*
Being year of the snake, with lots to shed and transmute, consider these notable quotes:
“The greatest source of our suffering – the lies we tell ourselves.” Bessel van Der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps Score
“Psychosomatic psychology has long shown that unexpressed emotions tend to lodge themselves in the body. Chronic muscle tension, persistent fatigue, unexplained aches, insomnia and even autoimmune diseases are among the most common signs of a mind living in a constant emotional repression. When the soul is silenced the body screams.” Alchemical Vortex.
Shame is “I am bad.” Guilt is “I did something bad.” Brene Brown
“What you deny subjugates you, and what you accept transforms you.”Carl Jung
“Until the unconscious becomes conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” Carl Jung
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Victor Frankl
