Continued healing: “You’re not dealing with this!” It seemed, to her, that I was doing nothing to correct my situation. For me, waiting was the work.
I needed to catch up with myself; to consider the things in my life that were no longer working and prepare for what was coming. There is a difference between remaining stuck and giving adequate time to heal over what was, and the development of what’s next.
Thankfully, we are not comfortable with sickness or pain. It is the fight that pushes us through all of the outer distractions. The deepest core of our suffering; however, cannot be rushed, for therein lies our passion, and transformation from suffering to passion, takes time.
Physically, part of the healing process may be sneezing, coughing or vomiting. Emotionally, we experience therapeutic effects through laugher and crying. Spiritually, periods of release are necessary, too.
Living into the consciousness of Christ often requires letting go, and then waiting through current circumstances while our hope-filled dreams take shape in day-to-day reality. Universal truths meet us in that still, empty space and we realize both our connection to and influence on the whole.
I have never known, or observed, a spiritual deepening that did not require vague, uncomfortable, alone time. There, we begin seeing those things that have exhausted their purpose and can trust that in the stripping away, we will move through our upsets to meet suffering with honest sorrow.
Occasionally, I sit with someone, successful in beating the bell curve in other areas of life, who is now dumbfounded over not being able to approach Love’s deepening, in like manner. There is a choice of ploughing our way through or surrendering to the in-between. In the pause, strength and power rise from being done unto, grounding us from within.
Obsessively pecking away at our shadows, until they rise up bigger than life, is no better than feverishly grasping an outer light, to magically rescue us. When we wait in the empty space, accepting the dis-ease, we finally realize that sacredness was beaming from within, all along. For me, waiting was the work.
Sacred Ruminations*
Consider ways you are suffering today. In looking at how you blame or are prejudice toward others, how would you name your personal suffering? What is at its core?
Name your feelings: anger, fear, loneliness, guilt, etc. Try to separate any outer beliefs or political leanings from your feelings and name what makes it personal.
If you are sitting with the both/and (not just saying the words, both/and), you probably cannot adequately express the being done unto. Through words, art, music or dance, try.