Deeper Still

I was listening to a calculated technique that would surely sway one who had chosen a wrong path to the unyielding answer when I found myself instead, swept away by the vein pattern in a leaf that I had brought with me to the cafe’ table. While techniques and answers have their place, I allowed myself to daydream about the embrace of the long, slow seductive dance and felt my face turn red as if God had publically showed affection toward me at an inappropriate time. It was a design in a leaf. How could it stir me so?

Was it a longing that Spirit had put inside of me? I had been noticing meaningful refinements such as eloquent conversations being replaced by noise and activity. It seemed, too, that smart cognitive answers were replacing poignant pauses that once invited others to the dance.

On that particular day, I could not succumb to the technique, but the gift of the moment was an invitation to see the many ways that I had presented God-in-a-box. I felt paralyzed with embarrassment, but in time, Reverence washed over me and reminded me that my spiritual journey is ever-growing me into Love.

How does one prepare for transformation? I went deeper still and found the baptizer, John. We sat together eating from the pods of locust trees, wind blowing across our faces. John prepared the way of the Lord for multitudes long ago and now he was preparing the way of the Lord deeper in my heart.

Was I willing to hear what this truth teller had to say? How would my well-mannered upbringing deal with phrases like, “You brood of vipers” or the bloody ending, his head on a platter? John’s story left me far from a feel-good morning devotional. Must all transformation begin with suffering? And if my transformation comes from someone else’s hardship, am I not forever connected to that person? If this man gave willingly for me, would I then have to do likewise? Suffering, transformation and love for others…

Sacred Ruminations*