Pretty little Javelina (Ha-ve-LEE-na) waltzed in, painted sky blue. She fooled me. With such a beautiful name, and dressed in the color of trust, I thought she would be gentle.

Kin to Razorback, Javelina hurled her spear, penetrating through me, to a lie. Loyalty had served to transform me. Now conversion was a mere excuse.

Understanding the contrast between being humbled in transformative situations and failing to live authentically gives clarity to our callings.

 Infinite Love shows up in a variety of forms. This time, Spirit came to me as a funny collared peccary and pointed out my duplicity.

In all of her awkward humor, Javelina injured me. When she was finished uncovering my blind spot, I remembered that though Love is kind, Love requires our lives.

I lamented over my shortcomings and the stubborn strongholds I stumbled on, in others. After a time, I found myself more compassionate. I was not soft, like before, but rather benevolent in requiring honesty from people of position and power.

Javelina’s ghost-like presence surrounded me as I addressed the space between declared aspirations and reality. I evoked anger in some, and ambivalence in others. A few listened.

When I was tempted to fault another person, in my spirit, Javelina brought me back to the forgiveness that had repeatedly graced me. My discernment sharpened. Exploitation thrives in the relationship between overly trusting ones and people of power, who have lapsed in their integrity.

What if curtailing ugly actions of other people depended on our willingness to bravely transform? What if converting another’s controlling manner into healthy leadership, hinged on our stepping out in faith?

I wonder how many times we are outraged by an action that affects the impoverished, not because we are advocating for, as much speaking from an old injustice, done unto us? What if our influence depended solely on a deep undercurrent of forgiveness, wholeness and love?

Everything comes back to Sacred within. When we are at odds within, we live duplicitous lives. That is when our souls call on Javelina to throw her lance, to wound and ultimately, save us from ourselves.

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Sacred Ruminations*

What will move you deeper into your authentic Self? Humiliation? Bravery? Letting go?

Consider this vetting process in choosing where and with whom to invest yourself: Define what you value. Confront what fails to line up with your values. Listen, but more importantly wait and watch before making a decision. Actions speak louder than words, an idiom dating back hundreds of years.

Sacred text reminds us to shake the dust off our feet and walk forward. What does shaking the dust off and moving forward look like, should you stay?