I once quietly boasted about the ways I denied my ego, until I realized that those acts of martyrdom were born of pride. Sometimes seeing opens us to mourning.

To get through to the other side, I had to better know myself, observe how I interacted with people, and admit that both avoiding periods of necessary suffering and choosing to suffer things that were not mine to suffer, were not only futile for my growth, but also hurtful to others.

Though the circumstances vary, all of us face similar scenarios, things within us begging for conversion. Will we fight against or surrender to Love? And then, after giving in, will we hoard the experience or allow ourselves to be seen?

In the beginning, we may feverishly hang on to the past or all too quickly dispose of years of building relationships, resumes, etc. to rid ourselves of pain. Suffering is a part of life and though it is uncomfortable, mourning our way through is vital in knowing our truest selves. As we befriend ourselves, decisions become clearer and we are able to confidently move forward.

Our tendency is to separate from our shadows and suffering by masking our pain with excessive-ness of things e.g., busyness, food, drink, medication, television, internet, spending money or begging for others’ approval. When our cover-ups no longer work, we armor up or cut and run.

Overt optimism, intellectual understanding and others’ well-meaning words may bring temporary relief. However, they can serve to distract us from breaking through our deceptive facades, because healing requires that we experience the way through.

Before we desire real healing, we reach for anyone or anything to rescue us. We stay in this cycle of pain and temporary relief, until we finally accept that our suffering is not other than, but a part of us. When we let go of outside, illusionary magic, oddly, healing seems to miraculously happen.

Sacred within shows us our connection with the whole. Little by little, we discover abiding joy alongside the inevitable pain that comes with being human. Each time we purposefully go through mourning our illusions, we find ourselves more firmly grounded in the glad-filled confidence of Love’s embrace.

Sacred Ruminations*

Does anything, within, repeatedly beg your attention?

Name your go to masks, the ones that you choose to cover your pain.

Which distractions tempt you most?


Intellectual understanding

Friends’ well-meaning words


Ask Love to open your heart to a joy-filled embrace.