Three of Me

At the time, I did not put much energy into interpreting the image; it was far too fun, watching the piece emerge. Later, the image articulated the joys and struggles of bringing the three of me together in authenticity.

My True Self, my inner reactions and my outer responses huddled under the protection of Spirit’s brooding. Although each part was distinct, they communed together within a structure that offered a safe space and freedom to come and go.

The visual gave recollection to living beyond my preferred behavior, when dealing with difficult people. Long ago, I had chosen to respond in love when faced with obstinacy. My ongoing challenge was defining what a loving response looked like?

Acting our way into love is quite different from pretending to love, while secretly harboring ill will. If we turn away from the truth inside, we cannot be whole. If we fail to speak truth to the other, we lose a part of the relationship. Confronting, from a loving intent, says, I care enough to take this risk, in hopes of furthering the relationship.

Most of us have been on the receiving end of meanness, misuse of power or emotional abuse. Beyond the hurt and healing, we are given opportunities to develop from our sweeter definitions of love to more substantial ones.

If we are not successful in giving our negative inner reactions a strong boot, Disconnectedness may be asking us to take another approach. In choosing to compassionately observe our inner reactions, we find wholeness.

In several situations, I devoted myself to transforming troubling inner reactions into joy. The commitment led me to attentiveness of my own negativity, which then drew me deeper into authenticity.

Henri Nouwen said, “What is most personal is most universal.” Sacred within met me in my deepest need. There I considered how I might meet others.

What lessons have I learned?

Living from truth brings freedom and joy, even in a broken world.

Making wise judgments differs from being judgmental.

Authenticity draws the like-hearted and repels, even ignites, insecurities.

Integrity (wholeness) encourages ongoing communion with Spirit.

Forgiving allows Love’s waters to flow.

Waiting for Spirit to brood over the void, gives way to newness of life.

As sobering as it was, inviting all three of me to speak, opened a door to Sacredness in every relationship, even the pain-filled ones.

Sacred Ruminations*