Puffed Up Plumage

Puffed up plumage, thirty pieces of silver or the road of sorrow. Where were all the grownups?

I could not breathe. I was facing a betrayal. Taking in the act, against me, and fanning the flames, with each physical breath, was the only way to burn away the dross and make a positive change, in the world.

I remembered other broken trusts and how accepting them, connected me to the man of sorrows. I looked at the small circle around the cross and out over the angry mob. It was my choice, the cross or the crowd?

The story had taught me, long before. Walking Love’s path would include accepting betrayals, not only from an opposing side, but also from those with whom I’d shared trust. To welcome the taunting, without giving it power, seemed nearly impossible!

And then, I remembered a time when I longed for grace and honest confrontation from another, any other. Would I choose to be the person I’d once yearned for?

My dream moved me forward, into the future. What would I experience when the rooster crowed or when I reached inside my pockets to find ill-gotten change? Would I fade to reciprocating with duplicity or take the opportunity to grow, in love?

Outer governances are necessary and working to make them right is surely part of our developmental process. Our mistake is elevating structures and positions to an importance they were never intended to hold.

Love cannot be forced from an outside authority. It is a movement from within that first saves us from our worst selves and then works it’s transforming power through well-spoken words, actions and relationships. Love is both a free gift and will cost us everything.

And then, in my dream, the people who had chosen the sorrowful road topped the hill. A crowd quickly gathered, using Jesus’ name, attempting to manipulate them to become sacrificial lambs for their personal causes.

The faithful continued walking grief’s road, past puffed up plumage and pouches of change, on to deep sorrow, deeper joy and restful sleep.

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Sacred Ruminations*

What qualities you have desired in another?  How are you growing into those characteristics?

Consider the ways you hold both sorrow and joy.