Thus far, messengers of Quiet have summoned me to come down beneath the surface for extended solitude, three times. Though the requests have come by way of different runners, Quiet’s invitation has been the same, calling me away from competing voices into Spirit’s loving flow.
I was a teenager, when I began recognizing the harmful nature of double standards. Disillusionment voiced the first of Quiet’s invitations. Inside my heart, restrictions felt mean and sentimentality, untrue. There, I began considering the dance between boundaries and generosity of spirit, by taking available moments to sit with Quiet and listen, in hopes of finding authentic ground.
The second time, Darkness came with Quiet’s invitation, “Leave what you are doing and come away with Me”. In the dark, I repeatedly reached for a hand that did not seem to be there. At a point, I wondered about my stability, but also trusted that the way of faith carried no promise of the answers to which I had been accustomed. Sitting with Quiet became cherished time.
Desert brought Quiet’s third invitation, this time to move. In the seven years of discerning the call and being able to fully respond, I immersed myself in the Old Testament. Living in the words there, I realized that God proving Himself to the Israelites, by driving out enemies, the Canaanites, Hittites, among others, was the louder story that my quieter circumstances were shadowing.
In preparation for the move I metaphorically traveled with the Israelites through the desert, facing enemies. On my journey, I discovered the enemy less and less out there and more likely lurking in the shadows of my projections upon and expectations of.
Disillusionment and Darkness brought me to the waters’ bank where I dangled my feet and splashed around. Desert swept me into Spirit’s loving flow. Now, as I live in the lap of this creviced old land, I look at Desert’s aged-spotted face and consider sacredness differently.
These crusty pages of Creation’s Bible hold the howling wind and the gentle quiet equally. Each day Desert teaches me. What will draw me deeper into Spirit’s loving flow today?