I was content being rooted in red, while seeing blue and yellow as separate, other than. But blue kept inviting me to dance and when I finally said yes, there, in the union, was purple.
Orange is red until yellow joins in and violet is red, until red opens to blue. There is a beauty in the rainbow from Creation’s Bible; one color bleeding into the next without clear delineations where one ends and the next begins. And although green will never be yellow, green cannot be green without yellow.
It was so much easier when I knew God. When He was He, or even She. God was surely personal, but I kept the relationship mainly personal and other than. It was simpler, for I could understand the relationship with another person, a father or a mother.
Most everything was separate and contained then. There were rituals and a code of ethics that promised more. Within the safety of a structured foundation, I was able to create a respectable identity with all of the accompanying polarities. That, of course, made judgments and laying blame somewhat acceptable, for an identity has to be protected.
Having the answers made it a measurable life. I had a good idea about what constituted perfection and I was working toward the grandiose superlatives! All was calculable until Infinite Love began regularly showing up in the most unexpected places.
Over and over, I found inconsistencies in what I had labeled safe and good, and an invitation to wholeness where I did not expect to find it.
I became uncomfortable with my dualism and as the continuum of my “either/or” shortened, forgiveness began oozing from my heart, to overlooked places within me. And then, inevitably, generosity seeped out onto others.
My mind was not broad enough, nor my arms long, but neither seemed to matter. All that Infinite Love was asking me to do was to open my heart and trust that all would be well.
I did not sense a need to discard the beliefs to which I had been faithful, but rather, open more fully to a greater Mystery. This opening included relationships with those being called to the same. It was not so much away from former traditions of faith, as to the ongoing, overriding question: Is it of Love?
Gradually, and all at once, I woke up to Spirit everywhere. The Living Holy was peeling back judgments and expanding the color palette all around. I had sensed more than from childhood, but now, feeling as if I knew less than ever before, somewhere inside of me, I KNEW that I had experienced a personal God and beyond. It was mystery; it was union, that rainbow of oneness, all because I simply opened my heart.